Legal Disclaimer & Terms of Use

Experimental Materials Notice

All Goon Research materials are experimental tribological compounds provided for research, personal testing, and novelty use only. These products are not evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. They are not medical devices, personal lubricants, or finished cosmetics. By purchasing or using Goon Research materials, you acknowledge that these are unregulated experimental compounds and agree to assume full responsibility for their storage, use, and consequences.

Limitation of Warranties

All products are provided “as is” with no express or implied warranties, including but not limited to merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, consistency across batches, or compatibility with your body, your expectations, or your vibe. Goon Research shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages including but not limited to:

  • Skin reactions
  • Slippery floor injuries
  • Relationship consequences
  • Property damage
  • Emotional or philosophical distress

Returns & Replacements

All sales are final. If you receive a damaged, contaminated, or unusable product, contact us within 7 days of delivery to request a replacement or store credit. We reserve the right to deny refunds for used, opened, or improperly stored items.

Privacy

We don’t share or sell your information. Accounts are linked to your identity so we can process orders, but any data used for testing or research is stripped of personal details and replaced with anonymous identifiers. Public-facing materials never include customer data. We only store the minimum necessary to fulfill orders and never store payment details.

Use Restrictions

By purchasing or using Goon Research materials, you agree that you:

  • Are 18 or older
  • Understand the experimental nature of the materials
  • Will not repackage, resell, or distribute the materials without written permission
  • Assume full responsibility for personal use and testing

These materials are intended for consensual, informed experimentation only. If you’re not sure what that means, don’t buy them.

Legal Stuff

All intellectual property related to Goon Research including but not limited to formulas, product designs, branding, characters or other narrative entities, and the Goon Research universe itself are proprietary to Goon Research. You are welcome to create derivative works, fan art, or parody content for personal and non-commercial use.

However, you may not:

  • Sell or distribute products based on Goon Research formulas, characters, or designs
  • Use our branding, characters or other narrative entities in a way that suggests affiliation or endorsement
  • Repackage, remix, or resell our materials without written permission

We reserve the right to:

  • Refuse service to anyone
  • Discontinue any product at any time
  • Cancel, delay, or modify shipments based on availability or external conditions

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